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Finding Hope and Healing Through Faith During Trials

Overcoming Health Challenges

Those of you who know me already know about my journey to regain my health. For those of you who do not know, my personal health journey began more than 15 years ago. I would love to tell you that it started as a result of self-discovery that gave me a desire to make changes. But the honest truth is, we found ourselves in a situation that required lifestyle changes to improve my son's health. As a mom, I would have done anything for him. After a lot of hard work and numerous lifestyle changes, we were able to put my son on a path of wellness. Finding myself on a path of health and wellness was just a bonus.

It is often after taking an honest look at our situation that we begin a new journey. We start down a new path because we want to make a change. However, I didn't even consider looking at my own health until after my son was on the road to recovery. Seeing my son's progress and the progress I had made without even trying, I decided it was time to take an honest look at myself.

In the beginning, I weighed 229 pounds on my small 5-foot-1-inch frame. OUCH! Without even trying that first year, I lost 36 pounds. I was beginning to feel really good, so I decided to really start focusing on myself. My own health became a priority, and with hard work and persistence, I ultimately lost 85 pounds. I was even able to maintain my weight loss until my own health crisis hit.

This challenge came at a time in my life where stressors were coming from many different areas of my life. I again found myself in a position where I needed to be a caregiver for my family. While I knew there were problems with my own health, I decided to put them on the back burner and make my family a priority. After all, isn't that what we are supposed to do? I have never regretted making my family a priority, but I absolutely paid the price for ignoring my own health issues along the way.

Eventually, my own health issues became too large to ignore, and I had to deal with them. I would like to tell you that I was able to face those challenges head-on with poise and grace, but that would be a lie. Far too often, I could be found in a puddle on the floor, ugly crying—I mean, UGLY crying. At times, I felt like I was alone and had been abandoned. Finding hope for tomorrow was extremely difficult, and finding hope for the weeks, months, and years ahead seemed impossible. I had some heated conversations with God, too.

Slowly, moment by moment, day by day, I began to dig myself out of the hole I had fallen into and started fighting for my health and future. For me, that meant disagreeing with medical providers and asking way more questions than they wanted to or would answer. I learned more about nutrition than I even wanted to know. I even found my way back into God’s arms.

My health has improved in many ways, although there are challenges that I still deal with today. I know that my own health will always need to be a priority, and my journey for health and wellness will never end. The goal was, is, and always will be to live a lifestyle that encourages health and wellness. What has taken me by surprise, however, is that one of those lingering challenges would be a full-blown crisis.

A New Health Journey

I, once again, find myself dealing with a medical issue that has no explanation. My doctor has even said he isn’t sure what step we need to take next. At this moment, getting back to my normal life seems like a pipe dream, and I’m trying to find my new normal. My frustration level is often off the chart, and I once again find myself having heated conversations with God. The one thing I can say is that this time I’m not a puddle on the floor. I tell myself, “You’ve been here before, and you can absolutely fight for your health and your future.” I am now quick to research and quick to ask questions. I am no longer afraid to advocate for myself. If I’m not willing to fight for myself, then who will?

In the middle of navigating this new challenge, I have felt this undeniable tug that says God is trying to talk to me. I have taken a little time to think about what he is trying to tell me. I've even picked up my Bible for study. But when I ask myself if I've really taken time to sit quietly with Him in prayer, the honest answer is no. Oh man! Here we go again. I have to take an honest look at the whole situation without the rose-colored glasses and decide to quit making excuses.

Hearing God's Voice

Once I made it a point to slow down and listen, a few Bible verses immediately came to me. James 1 came to mind, and it honestly had me puzzled.

James 1:2-3

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness."

Wait, what? So, I’m supposed to find joy in a medical issue that has upended my life and is forcing me to find a new normal? Lord, I need you to show me the joy in this situation. The more I've prayed about this and the more I've studied, I've come to learn that the author isn't talking about joy in the sense of being happy.

In verse 3, we see that trials are what test our faith and produce steadfastness. Verse 4 goes on to tell us to let steadfastness take full effect so that we may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. Without trials, we cannot be perfect and complete. Knowing this makes it easier to understand that we are to face these trials without grumbling and complaining. Okay, Lord, I get it. I will do my level best not to complain. I understand that you have much to show me and teach me in this moment. I just knew this was the big takeaway that God wanted me to get. Things will start getting better from here, right? Right? No.

My current situation has continued to march forward, sometimes even worsening. And, yep, you guessed it. I have once again caught myself grumbling. It was at this point that I also started hearing, "It only takes faith the size of a grain of mustard seed." With that, my new mantra became, "I will consider this trial pure joy and embrace God's teaching. All I need is a little faith to get through this." Was that really all it was going to take? Not by a long shot.

When we look further into James 1, we are told, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to you. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind."

When I read that, it became clear that faith, no matter how small, didn’t even begin to cover it. Doubt. Doubt is the thing that I seem to struggle with the most. When I’m in the heat of the situation, especially a situation that has now continued for more than 2 months, it is really hard not to doubt that God really will take care of it. After all, haven’t we all been told that sometimes God says, “No?” Maybe he is just telling me no, and this is a situation that I need to handle myself. Is that what I’m really thinking? Or am I doubting that God loves and cares for me enough to handle this situation on my behalf? Am I seeing myself as unworthy of His healing? Hmmm…talk about having to take off the rose-colored glasses and see myself flaws and all.

Faith and Wellness

Now is the time to get really honest. Doubt and feelings of unworthiness MUST be dealt with.

We are told in Ephesians 2:4-5, “But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved.” In verse 8, it goes on to say, “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.”

Take a minute and let that all sink in. It was because of the deep and profound love that God has for each of us that we were shown mercy in the midst of our sin. We have been saved by grace through faith. There is no mention of needing faith as large as the universe. In fact, in Matthew 17, we are told that with faith as small as a grain of mustard, we can move mountains. He simply wants us to have faith and to believe He is who he says He is. That’s it. This is a gift given to you by God, and nothing you can do or not do will change it.

Now that you know God has a deep and profound love for you, it's time to let the feelings of unworthiness go and embrace His love and all that He has in store for you. It’s time to lay down doubt and cling to the truth of who God is and everything that He can do.

Let the truth of God’s love bring you out of a place of negativity and into a place that is filled with hope and joy. How do we do that? We, again, look to God’s word for a blueprint. Philippians 4 gives a list of things we should strive to fill our minds with.

Philippians 4:8

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

By focusing on these things, we can shift our mindset from the negative to the positive. We can look for things that bring us joy and leave behind the things that lead to grumbling and complaining. Even in the midst of trials, there are good things in our lives. We just need to take the time to find them.

Now, before you say it, I know this is easier said than done. I never said it would be easy. In fact, creating a new habit and changing our mindset can be difficult; it will take time and a lot of practice. While this may not be an easy journey, it will be a journey worth taking.